Sunday, February 18, 2007

They Say I'll Laugh About This One Day...


I haven't been around for awhile. I've been too busy getting my sorry ass fired from the most lucrative position I've ever had. It was the proverbial "perfect storm" of the workplace. Everything coming together at all the right times, from all the right angles to create total destruction. Yeah, kind of a bummer. But hey, everyone keeps telling me to consider it a learning experience. And I must say that the biggest lesson I learned is as follows...

1. Never tell your boss to fuck off.

Apparently I learned lesson #1 a little too late, which led to the following lessons...
2. If you must tell your boss to fuck off, be sure to send out the blanket "I have a new e-mail address..." e-mail to your address book before uttering the previously mentioned offensive phrase.
3. Clean out all personal folders on your hard drive, so the next person who ends up in your little cube doesn't get to read all of your personal letters. Not to mention that resumé you've been updating in preparation of the offensive phrase.
4. If given the chance to apologize, you should probably take it, instead of uttering the next offensive phrase, "HELL NO!"
5. Be sure to have a Plan B - a bigger, better, more lucrative job which you get to start even sooner, considering your recent unemployed status. Ahhhhhh........at least I did that part right! ;)
Most importantly...
6. There's nothing that riding around with the top down on an 85 degree southern California day won't fix.

8 comments:

John said...

I was with you all the way, Steph...until number 6!

Now I'm just mad at you! Shut up! 85 degrees in February? Got room in the passenger seat?? :)


p.s. welcome back from the grave...love what you've done with your site, little miss purple!

Anonymous said...

i was wondering what happened to you. damn. that sucks. good luck with things. i'll be thinking of you.

Jenni said...

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been hoping you were going to update soon since

a). I lost your phone number when my phone exploded, and

b). Apparantly you didn't get the email I sent to your "work" account.

Call me or email me!

I miss you!

And you're SO right about the Southern California thing...I'm right there with you!

jenniswank@gmail.com

karla said...

Oh, man, this is just wrong. You can't tell us you told the boss to fuck off without telling us the WHOLE story in detail. Come on, tell! Don't be mean.

Slim said...

Good Grief, she's ALIVE!

Glad your back and good for you! How many people actually get to tell their boss to fuck off? How many people have fantasized about doing that very thing and never got the satisfaction?! Nice. I'm glad you had a back up plan.

Slim said...

Aaargh! I meant glad "you're" back, that's one of my biggest grammatical pet peeves!

twobuyfour said...

Arg! Stupid Blogger just deleted my comment.

The upshot of it was: I'm glad you're back. I hope you're well. I hope you like your new job. Give us details when you get a chance.

Anonymous said...

She speaks! I was wondering where you were! I'm glad you're ok.

I'm sorry to hear about all your drama. There's something better out there waiting for you! ;)