Finally. A Breakthrough.

I feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I've spent so much time and energy lamenting the fact that I'm still single, as you know from a previous post. And, as many of you know, I consider myself a spiritual person with the belief that God wants what's best for me on this earth. Bear with me here.

I've spent quite a bit of time lately asking God what it all means...Why am I still single? Have I done the right thing by ending my past relationships when I did? Will I ever find my soul mate and one day marry again? Have I met this person already and just not seen the signs?

I've had what I believe to be an epiphany. After much thought and prayer, God has made it very clear to me...

He wants me to marry the lead singer of the Goo Goo Dolls.

...And Here's 50 More...

If you're feeling especially bored right now, and want to see the first 50, see below. :)

51. I love to go out and have fun - dancing, letting loose, having a few drinks, basically getting crazy like I'm 15 years younger than I really am. I wonder if at my age I just look stupid.
52. My youngest daughter has the compassion of Mother Theresa. People comment on it all the time so I know it's not just me.
53. I'm probably the only Christian you'll ever meet who will admit to hating George Bush, and who voted Democrat in the last two elections.
54. When the top is down on my car, I think it's the prettiest car I've ever seen. And yes, a car can be pretty. :)
55. Two college age girls consider me their mentor. They have no idea how much I actually learn from them.
56. I'll pretty much sell my body for the Purple Fusion sushi at a tiny little restaurant in Laguna.
57. At the library today, I pathetically squealed with delight when I saw that they had the newest Danielle Steele novel in stock.
58. I think Bruce Springsteen, Jennifer Knapp, Jim Steinman and Bob Dylan are lyrical geniuses.
59. I love everything French; the food, the wine, the country, the language, the pace of life.
60. If I'm still single when I retire, I'm out of here. For reals (I just like saying "for reals," like I'm 6 :). South of France or the coast of Spain, whichever I can afford. Somewhere where I can see the ocean from my bedroom window and the sound of church bells wakes me up.
61. The grass in my backyard is embarrassing. It's dead.
62. I get my hair professionally cut less then once a year.
63. My middle name is Ann. Please. My parents had nine months to come up with something and this is what I get? Not that it's a crappy name or anything, it's just that every little girl born in 1966 got Ann as their middle name. Or Marie (my sister). Or Lynn.
64. I think my two daughter's names are absolutely beautiful and no one else in their schools have them.
65. I take a bath with Mr. Bubble every night without fail.
66. I will skip multiple meals if they're not worth eating. I'll hold out until I find something that I love. It could be a Wendy's cheeseburger, but I have to love it or I won't eat.
67. I find it almost impossible to turn down a dare, no matter how ridiculous. I consider it a matter of personal pride that I'll do just about anything!
68. The only time I'll open a bottle of wine by myself is when I'm either cooking an elaborate meal for just me (which is not very often) or by myself baking something late into the night. My specialties are Parmesan bread and lemon cake with raspberry sauce.
69. I never eat what I bake. I always wrap it up for my kids or take it to work for everyone there. I always love it, I just feel weird about eating it. I'm weird like that.
70. A medium coke with extra ice from McDonald's is my crack.
71. I just dropped $250 on NFL Sunday Ticket so I never have to miss a football game. Like I don't have anything better to spend my money on.
72. My house got toilet papered last night. Teenagers are such bliss.
73. I don't want to embarrass my friend John, but he expresses himself more eloquently than anyone else I know. This morning I got an e-mail that among other things said this, "In my heart of hearts I know that God is, at this very second, at work behind the scenes of your life preparing the most awe inspiring story of love and romance ever. You know, the kind you dream about." And that's just one. I'm lucky enough to be on the receiving end of an abundance of encouragement from this sweet friend.
74. I love him dearly, and he makes sure I know it's mutual.
75. It's all girls in my house, even the dog and cat are female. We're swimming in an estrogen ocean and most of the time I love it, but sometimes I want to pull my hair out.
76. Some guys with power washers were spraying the outside of my house today and the front door wasn't shut all the way. They power washed about 50 gallons of water right into my foyer. Nice.
77. My friends and I are going to ring in my big 4-0 in Las Vegas on an all girls trip. I'm sure there will more to follow on this one! :)
78. I hate to shop with a passion, and I only step foot into a mall if someone has asked me for something specific that I can't find anywhere else or it's too late to order it on-line.
79. I got my first job when I was 14 at Del Taco. I was too young to make the food so I worked on the "dining room" side of the counter, delivering trays to people's tables and cleaning up after them. And oh yeah, sweeping the floor every half hour.
80. After six months, I lied about my age and got a job at the movie theater. They didn't check those things back then and having a job at the movies at my age was considered to be the cream of the crop.
81. I'm very good friends with my ex-husband and his wife, and have actually taken people I've dated over to their house for BBQ's and other social gatherings. We spend Christmas Eve there every year to make it as easy as possible on our children.
82. My girls are the biggest slobs ever, and it's driving me nuts. I can't wait for school to start again just so they can't be home every day messing up the house.
83. My friend Jennifer got me started blogging and I got my friend John started. Then he got his brother Pete doing it and...wow, the possibilities are just endless here, aren't they?
84. I graduated from high school in 1984.
85. I didn't graduate from college with a B.A. until 2003. "I could have finished; I chose not to. I'm not into this completion thing." (Come on, ten bucks to the person who can tell me what movie that's from! :)
86. I'm addicted to stick pretzels.
87. My daughters are addicted to Lean Cuisine spaghetti and meatballs. Parenting at it's finest.
89. All three of us are addicted to re-runs of Will & Grace. Again, parenting at it's finest.
90. My friend John gave me a book a couple of years ago called Wild at Heart and I think it's the best non-fiction book I've every read. Really. You should pick it up.
91. I turned on the radio this morning in my car and my favorite country radio station has been replaced by a hip-hop station and I'm bitter. Seriously, I feel ripped off and like someone should have consulted me first.
92. Someone from my past just bought me a trip to Barbados for my birthday, for he and I to go together. There were several years when I would have jumped at the chance to have that trip and a healthy relationship with him, but now I made him cancel it. I've spent more time than I care to remember allowing this person to thrash my heart, and undervalue what I have to offer. To quote Garth Brooks (who I really can't stand), "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers."
93. I'm an incurable insomniac and I have been for many years.
94. I think "Time to Say Goodbye" by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman is one of the most beautiful songs ever recorded.
95. I was such a girly girl when I was little. I took voice lessons, ballet, gymnastics and piano.
96. I just signed up for tap dancing lessons - at my age! I guess I'm still the same girly girl! :)
97. I get the most beautiful sunsets from the balcony off of my bedroom.
98. I have a step-brother and a step-sister, both younger than me. Even though I was 29 when our parents got married, you would think we grew up together, we're that compatible, as they are with my older brother and sister. When we're all together, we never differentiate between our biological siblings and our step-siblings; we introduce each other as brothers and sisters, always.
99. When I was a little girl I would get in trouble for bringing my Nancy Drew Mysteries to the dinner table, even trying to pull them out at restaurants.
100. If you've read all 100 of these, I'm extremely flattered. Thanks for hanging. :)

What can I say. I'm a sheep.

I'm a joiner by nature, which is why I now feel compelled to copy what some of you have done on your blogs recently (don't make me name names, you know who you are).
My first 50.....

Please hold your applause 'til the end.

1. I'm freaked out about turning 40 next month (well now I'm just being redundant, aren't I?).
2. I'm the youngest of three kids, and only because I became a mother before my siblings did they stop treating me like the baby. Now they call me for parenting advice.
3. I'm a big old stinkin' daddy's girl, who still calls her daddy "Daddy."
4. I'm usually pretty frugal at the grocery store, but I'm a whore for anything lavender. I'll pay way too much for lavender body wash, fabric softener, etc.
5. I'm a fanatical star gazer. I just signed up for an Astronomy class at the community college, which I hear is actually quite difficult. I can't wait for it to start in two weeks.
6. I've been in a Mexican jail twice. Once because I truly got arrested, the other time because my friends did and I had to bail them out. The only reason I got them out was because one of my friends convinced the guards that I was pregnant with his child.
7. I believe that love makes the world go 'round. Seriously. I think it's the most important thing worth striving for in this life...those loving relationships that you can cherish when everything else is gone.
8. I love classical music and am listening to it right now.
9. I have a weird phobia of grasshoppers. You can just never tell where those little pests are going to hop next and it freaks me the hell out to the point of being irrational.
10. When I was little, I was painfully shy. I had no confidence until I was at least 17 years old.
11. My ex-husband was a triplet, and even though I knew it wouldn't happen, I always wanted multiple births.
12. I ended up dating my ex-husband after his brother brought him along on a date that was supposed to be with him.
13. When I met him, I was already seeing a very nice guy named Scott who had just been drafted by the Cleveland Indians. I broke his heart and feel a little bad about it to this day.
14. I read about two books a week. Sometimes when I'm really into a good book, I resent that I have to do anything responsible and that I just can't be home reading my book.
15. If someone were trying to prove that homosexuality is hereditary, they could use my family as a case study. I have a sister, two aunts, and three cousins who are gay. That we know of.
16. If I have to have an important conversation with someone, I practice it, sometimes out loud. It's led to more than one embarrassing situation when I get caught at it.
17. I was in a car accident seven years ago in which I should have died. Jaws of Life, trauma surgeons, the whole nine yards. The hospital told everyone who called, including my family, that I would not make it through the day. I didn't see my life flash before my eyes as some will speculate, but right before I passed out I did have a very clear mental picture of someone telling my daughters that their mother had died. I think God saved me to stay on this earth and be their mom.
18. I'm really small but don't feel like it until I see a picture of me standing in a crowd.
19. My favorite color is purple and I pretty much can't get enough of it.
20. I share a birthday with Bruce Springsteen and every year my brother calls and says the same thing, "Hey. Don't forget to call Bruce today. It's his birthday. Never mind, I'll tell him. I'm seeing him later for drinks."
21. Every year on my sister's birthday, he leaves this message for her, "Hey. Don't forget to call your sister today. It's her birthday."
22. I collect antique perfume bottles.
23. I make my own Limoncello and other infused alcohols, like mandarin, green apple and blackberry vodkas and give it away as gifts.
24. I also make my own paper.
25. I pretty much think I'm Martha Stewart.
26. I wear a size 5 shoe and know the only pair in my size that every shoe store will have is the one on display.
27. I've been covering gray in my hair since my mid 20's.
28. I've been to India and to the home of Mother Theresa, where the terminally ill go to die with dignity. I've met and spent time with the nun that took over her mission.
29. I've also been to Haiti where I've sponsored a child for 10 years. I got to meet his family and see where he lives.
30. I have a lifetime to do list which I take very seriously. Some things I've been able to cross off, such as climbing the Great Wall of China and trekking in the Andes. Others I have yet to achieve, such as running with the bulls in Pamplona, getting on stage with Barry Manilow, visiting all seven continents (three more to go) and finding the love of my life (What? Doesn't everybody want to get on stage with Barry Manilow?).
31. I have over 100 cousins.
32. My parents separated when I was 10, but didn't divorce until I was 29.
33. I played varsity tennis in high school.
34. I thought I met the love of my life while in college. He was beautiful, kind and loyal. I broke up with him because he had a business degree from one of the most prestigious colleges in California and was working at a sporting goods store and I thought doing nothing with his life. He had no dreams, and I couldn't imagine a future with a man who had no dreams.
35. I'm half Mexican on my mom's side and Danish on my dad's. My mom is dark and my dad is as white and blonde as they come. No one can believe we're related. I ended up somewhere in between. When I was growing up, I always thought my parents made a funny looking couple.
36. I have one child who looks like my mom (dark skin, dark eyes) and one who looks like my dad (fair skin, light hair, and VERY blue eyes). I love it.
37. My bedroom is my sanctuary.
38. After my bad car accident, I now have what is called Chiari's syndrome. The bottom portion of my brain is slipping down into the hole in the bottom of my skull where my brain stem and spinal cord go. I have no adverse symptoms though, and I probably never will. I'm very lucky. But it's kind of a cool story.
39. I had a really bad lisp when I was a child and also couldn't say my R's. I was in speech therapy until Jr. High, when I absolutely refused to go any longer.
40. For that reason, I had a dreaded fear of public speaking until I was forced into it for a job I had. Now I can get up in a room full of thousands of people and it doesn't bother me at all.
41. I had the same best friend from the time I was 15 until I was 28 when she moved to Ireland. We're still close. Her name's Maggie. :)
42. My daughters are athletic studs.
43. I dated an actor for awhile who was actually on a TV comedy every week. He was a drama queen, but I got to go to cool parties at famous people's homes!
44. I believe in mind over matter and have learned most things in life this way - forcing myself to do that which makes me uncomfortable.
45. I recently had a reiki master come to my home and do a session on me and I think it was one of the coolest things ever.
46. During the fall I put on warm clothes, sit outside and close my eyes and listen to the wind in the trees, and I am at such peace that I think God created that sound just for me.
47. I've always wanted to learn how to tapdance.
48. My favorite movies are Life is Beautiful and Breakfast at Tiffany's, in that order.
49. I have more heroes than I can count.
50. I think I know the most important thing to making a marriage work. Seriously. Feel free to ask what it is, I may devote an entire post to it.

I think I can only hang with 50 things right now, even though I know the list is supposed to be 100. Maybe I'll get to the next 50 later.

Words I Wish I Wrote 6.16.06

Love Dave Barry!

"I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an arguement on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of great respect, they don't even invite me."

~ Dave Barry

Words I Wish I Wrote...

Many years ago I bought a book called Words I Wish I Wrote by Robert Fulgham. You might know him from his "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" essay. The book was filled with quotes, song lyrics, even Scriptures that particularly moved him. I fell in love with the idea and several years ago started my own. One of my favorites is the quote at the top of my blog.

My friend John particularly appreciated mine, so one year for his birthday I got him started on his own copy, leaving all but a couple of the pages blank, ready to be filled with his own version of words he wished he wrote (and by the way, if you would like to be lifted up, read his incredible post called "The Night Is Young And So Is She").

I am so blessed by the wisdom and humor of others and I decided to share a little of it on my blog. So here's the first installment of Words I Wish I Wrote, by Steph....

I love this quote, because it really reminds me of myself!

"I must learn to love the fool in me - the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries"
~Theodore Isaac Rubin

Life Lesson #529

 

Never give a drunk girl cocktail umbrellas.

(Just a brief synopsis of my recent trip to the Bahamas) 

Life Lesson #452.......

(If you missed the first 451, you haven't been paying attention.)

............Never, never, never, but NEVER burn your bridges.

I have this ex-boyfriend, my girls affectionately call him "the French Guy." Born and raised in Paris, out here for a few years, and yes - that romantic. We dated for a couple of years and he's an absolutely great guy. One of our biggest problems, however, was that we disagreed on the place of ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends in our lives (in my case, also an ex-husband). It drove him nuts that I'm friends with almost everyone I've ever dated. Not one or two dates, but if I spent any respectable amount of time with them, I'm still in touch with them today. And as far as my ex-husband goes...let's just say that just today, his wife and I bought Aerosmith tickets together so we could all go in February. Well, this sort of behavior drove the French Guy nuts. I attributed it to serious insecurity. My perspective is that if you care that much about a person, and invest a large amount of your life in them, how do you just cut them out of your life? Now, I'm not talking about everyone being friends right away; people get hurt and healing takes time. It took several years for my ex-husband's wife and I to become friends. But people grow, move on, heal. I feel that I have managed to end relationships with mutual respect, and the same qualities that attracted me to that person - their character, integrity, sense of humor, etc. - still exist in the friendships.
Okay.......all that to say this........I am in the process of buying a house. In fact, Escrow is supposed to close tomorrow. It's not going to. Hopefully next week, but I've hit a serious snag. Here's some background...As most of you know, I have recently gone from making no money to making a decent amount of money. So the first thing I thought was to buy a house (Okay, the first thing I did was buy a really bitchin' new car! But I digress...). This house was way out of my price range six months ago. In fact, a hut in Haiti was way out of my price range six months ago. So when my very good friend Scot (one T), who is a real estate agent, started talking to me about buying a house, I started considering that I could truly afford it - and I can. I found a house that I fell absolutely IN LOVE with. I wanted to put an offer down so who was the first person I called? YES - an ex-boyfriend named Todd. Todd and I dated for six years. Six years! From the time we were 16 until we were 22. That's not just dating - that's growing up together. We both know it. Those were some formative years. We've been friends since we were 13 years old and we both know how significant that is. When we were together, everyone including us thought we would get married someday. Our families were intertwined. When we broke up, I got married within a couple of years, but he waited until we were in our 30's and of course I was there. At his wedding, his grandparents still insisted I sit with them. Todd is married to someone who is absolutely perfect for him, but we both realize the importance and the impact that our relationship had on our lives. The only lull in our friendship was during the two years I dated the jealous French Guy, and I'm sorry I allowed his insecurity to take me out of Todd's life while his kids were being born.
Well, Todd is now the president of his own mortgage lending company, or whatever you call it. He has several branches throughout California (we always knew he'd be extremely successful), so of course I called him immediately. The conversation was really cool and I learned a lot about loans, but the most significant thing he said was, "Don't worry, Steph. I'll make sure no one makes any money off of you." Music to my ears. Really, it's the only reason I'm able to afford this house. I'm squeaking by as it is, and having to pay points or a higher interest rate would break the deal. If this thing actually goes through, I owe him big. Since I can't prove my income for more than a few months (and since a stated income loan will take the mortgage payment right out of my price range), he's calling in favors like you wouldn't believe. He's so well off he's been able to retire for years, and he's got a beautiful wife at home and two babies, yet he was at work last night until 7 PM trying to talk the president of a bank into taking my loan as is, convincing him that I'm not a risk. So I'm back in the game, when I thought it was over. I owe it all to Todd. I'm not glad he's in my life because of what he can do for me. I'm glad he's in my life because I have a friend that cares enough about me to fight for me.

P.S. The French Guy and I broke up two years ago and for the first time in his life, he's GREAT friends with an ex-girlfriend!

P.S.S. If anyone feels the urge to send out a prayer or two for my new house - it would be greatly appreciated!! :)

Random Questions, With Even Randomer Responses...

I shamelessly stole this from Kate's site...

Name someone with the same birthday as you.
Bruce Springsteen. When I was in high school and college, I was a huge Springsteen fan - I still love his old stuff but I don't get into his new CD's as much. To this day my brother calls me every year on my birthday and leaves the same message on my voicemail..."Hey, don't forget to call Bruce today and wish him a Happy Birthday. Never mind, I'll tell him when I see him." It never gets old.

Where was your first kiss?
I was 14 and it was after a Sadie Hawkins dance. Freshman year, I asked Darren Uecker who had hair like a helmet. It was 1981 and he smooched me goodbye after the dance. He was a sophomore.

Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
Well, it depends on what you consider "seriously." Once when I was nine, my cousin Rick and I went to a construction site where they were finishing new homes and pushed a bag of wet plaster off the second story onto the first floor. At the time we just thought it was cool, but it had to have been a huge mess for the construction crew the next day. I've felt guilty about it ever since I realized that it wasn't really nice.

Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Yeah, my brother. We got in a really big fight once after a long night of drinking. I was 19 and he was dissing my boyfriend REALLY bad. So when we got home, I sort of pushed past him on my way into the house. He stopped me, pointed his finger in my face and very slowly and calmly said, "Don't EVER touch me again." I figured I had one shot. So I wound up and slapped him as hard as I could across the face and then ran like hell into the house screaming, "MOOOOOMMMM!!!!"
And one time I threw my keys at my ex-husband, aiming at his head. He ducked, but I had thrown them so hard that they stuck into the wall behind him.

Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people?
Of course. Not only the alcohol induced karoake nights where my sister and I sounded like the Chipmunks, but I was also in the Gospel choir at my church for a couple of years.

What's the first thing you notice about the preferred sex?
Their "presence." You know, how they carry themselves. And their eyes, to see if they're kind.

What is your biggest mistake?
Underestimating myself in so many ways.

Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
Not like you would think. But I do have this propensity to not eat when I'm depressed or stressed out. Most people have just the opposite - they eat or overeat under stress. The fact that I don't eat makes me wonder if I'm purposely trying to regain control, and that has got to be self-destructive.

Say something totally random about yourself.
Sometimes when I have to have an important conversation with someone, I not only go over it in my head first, but I also cover every possible outcome. I get so carried away with it sometimes that I find myself talking to myself and gesticulating in my car while I'm driving. I've looked over several times to see people looking at me like I'm crazy!

Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
Yeah. When that show Hotel was out in the 80's, people said I looked like Connie Selleca. I've also been told I look like Marlo Thomas on That Girl. Of course, there's always the super model references.

Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows?
Yeah! I like some shows on Disney Channel that I watch with my daughter, and how about Finding Nemo?! "You are a squishy and you will be my squishy!!" :)

Did you have braces?
Yeah. And let this be a lesson to every teenager out there - WEAR YOUR RETAINER!!!
I didn't and now I have them again. Only this time they're the invisible ones that come off. I only wear them when I sleep. But I can't believe how great they're working!

Are you comfortable with your height?
Yeah I am. I'm only 5'1" and although I'm shorter than literally everyone I know, I've always liked being small. If I had to be a different height, I would be like 5'10". That's cool.

What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?
Well, the way my ex-husband proposed was pretty cool. But once on my birthday, someone made such a big deal out of it and even took me to a ballet when he would have rather had a tooth drilled than sat through that. And the whole night was cool like that.

When do you know it's love?
When you realize that the other person's baggage is not a deal breaker, when you run to the front door every time that person walks in, when you see the future and they're in it.

Do you speak any other languages?
I thought I spoke passable Spanish, but the other day at work I tried to interview a customer in Spanish and I ended up asking her how much money she makes per table instead of per month.
If I'm in France, I can ask where the bathroom is.

Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
Yeah, you know in the 80's when that was big, but not recently.

What magazines do you read?
I love O. I also like the gossipy ones like People. I get Gourmet every month and rip out the good recipes before I toss them.

Have you ever ridden in a limo?
Lots of times.

Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
Yes. Both of my grandmas. They were both so awesome.
But the one that hit me the hardest was my friend Cindy. She was only a couple of years older then me and passed away about a year ago, quite unexpectedly. She impacted my life when I really needed her and losing her was devastating.

Do you watch MTV?
No, only when my daughter has it on, but I usually end up making fun of it.

What's something that really annoys you?
People who take their bad moods out on others. I don't get it, I don't do it and I have no patience for it.

What's something you really like?
Jacuzzi's! Looking at stars while I'm in a jacuzzi. Looking at stars and hearing the wind blow through trees while I'm in a jacuzzi.

Can you dance?
Kind of......I'm really good at faking it, like Big Band stuff. I can fake my way through any Jitterbug and stuff like that. I can dance well if I like the music, but if I don't, you can tell I'm faking it.

What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
Until 8:30 AM after gambling all night in Vegas with a very young man that I met that night.

Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
Yes. October 23, 1999. I was in a 280Z, passenger side, and got hit on my side with a Dodge Ram truck that ran a red light and hit me broadside. After 150 feet of locked braked skidmarks, the truck hit me at 60 MPH. Should have died, but God had other plans. I'm so glad.

Blogging Brilliance 6.28.05

First I have to say that thanks to Marie, I now have "It's a Sunshine Day", from the Brady Bunch stuck in my head. It's been playing on my computer (thank God it's looped!) for the last twenty minutes. I'm pathetic.

Since I'm still feeling pretty brain dead (see previous statement), I'm trying to make this easy on myself and just answer a question for this post...

What would I be willing to die for?

For me, that's pretty easy...my family. But I would also be willing to die for my beliefs. I wish I could say that I would be willing to die for my friends, but having two little girls to take care of, can I really make that statement?
Why my beliefs and not my friends? I'm not even sure I can articulate this, but mainly because part of my beliefs is a lesson to my girls that you have to choose what it is that you're made of. I can't stand apathy. Can't stand people who have no opinions, feelings, passions. Why bother?

I worked for about 120 hours today and again, I'm fried, so I'm probably making no sense, but I want to hear what you guys have to say, too...

What would you be willing to die for?

Blogging Brilliance 6.1.05

Okay, here's the next thing I would love to hear everyone's opinion on...
the mother in Tennessee who hired a stripper for her son's 16th birthday party.

(The full text is below if you haven't read this one yet...)

DO YOU THINK THIS MOTHER SHOULD BE PUNISHED FOR HIRING A STRIPPER FOR HER MINOR SON?

What do I think? I actually think she should. I think when you're that age, it's your parent's job to protect you from growing up too fast and experiencing those kinds of things. I realize when kids reach a certain age, their decisions are their own. As a parent, you can only hope that you've taught them to make the right ones. But to actually push them down the road of what was probably pretty trashy, I just don't think that's okay. If I were the parent of one of the other boys, I would be pretty pissed that she made that assumption for my child.

On another note, maybe we should just arrest her for stupidity...taking the pictures to be developed at the drug store? What did she think was going to happen?

What do you guys think? Also, did anyone have a mother like that?


NASHVILLE, Tenn. - A mother faces criminal charges after she hired a stripper to dance at her 16-year-old son’s birthday party.

Anette Pharris, 34, has been indicted by a grand jury on charges of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and involving a minor in obscene acts. The boy’s father, the stripper and two others also face charges.

“I tried to do something special for my son,” Pharris said. “It didn’t harm him.”

About 10 people under the age of 18 were at the birthday party in September, including minors who were not related to the family, authorities said.

Police spokesman Don Aaron said minors are not permitted in adult establishments.

“A person shouldn’t be allowed to circumvent that law by hiring a stripper, a lady who took all her clothes off and spent a good amount of time dancing around minors,” he said.

Anette Pharris took photos at the party and tried to have them developed at a nearby drug store. Drug store employees notified authorities, police said.

“Who are they to tell me what I can and can’t show to my own children?” the mother said.

Blogging Brilliance 5.26.05

Okay.......I came clean with the Barry Manilow thing. Talk about puking up the deep dark secret. So what is yours?

WHAT IS YOUR GUILTY PLEASURE? THE ONE THING THAT MOST PEOPLE WOULD PROBABLY MAKE FUN OF, IF THEY KNEW?

Come on...we're (mostly) anonymous here...Spill it!


(By the way, I finished my signs tonight...They're AWESOME!!!)

Blogging Brilliance 5.18.05

Here's another question that I would love to know your answers to....

(By the way, naming these posts "Blogging Brilliance" has nothing to do with the concept - it's all about your answers!)

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LINE FROM A SONG?

Even if you don't know the title or who sings it - throw it out there and someone else may.

I apologize to my friends who have heard this already so many times, but here's mine...

"I'm gonna find myself a girl
who can show me what laughter means,
and we'll fill in the missing colors
in each other's paint-by-number dreams..."

~Jackson Browne, The Pretender

What's your favorite?

Couple Thoughts From Tonight's ACM Awards...

1. No matter how bad we wish it were true...Kenny Chesney is NOT hot.

2. Faith Hill's hairstylist MUST be fired.

3. At 50 years old, Reba McEntire's window for wearing tight leather pants has passed.

One Very Brief Thought on 'Survivor'...

Don't you think it's funny that we find entertainment in a show that takes a bunch of hard core Americans to a foreign country, forces everyone to survive on their wits, strength, determination and resourcefulness and then picks a 'winner?' And they find the most remote areas on earth to make it more interesting.

The funny thing is that in most of these places, I'm sure there are indigenous people groups watching from a distance thinking, "You survive living MY LIFE for a few weeks and if you Outwit, Outplay, and Outlast the other nineteen whimps you brought with you, you win a million bucks? FUCK YOU!!"

Blogging Brilliance 5.15.05

I'm shamelessly stealing this idea from another blog and just sort of adapting it. I saw three questions on someone else's blog and literally lists of them on someone else's and I thought they were cool. Can't do a list or even three at a time, but I can do one at a time.

I'll ask the question and give my answers, but I want to hear everyone else's too.

I'll start with one that allows all of us to be egocentric...


TELL ME THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF...

Here are mine.
1. I love that I have the ability to find humor in everything, and my outlook on life often helps people I care about to take life a little less seriously also.

2. I love that I'm not just happy but truly joyful. People who are just happy are constantly searching and striving to hang onto that which makes them happy. Joyful people have it regardless of their circumstances, possessions, or relationships.

3. I love that I'm a great mom. I don't take that lightly or for granted. And I'm not making it up, I promise! :) I get that piece of info from my kids, the only one's whose opinions really matter. I realize, however, that that may come and go depending on their perception of me. Here's a conversation that took place yesterday between me and my 14 year old (when I was pondering this very question, by the way)...
My cell phone rings as I'm pulling into my neighborhood, my 14 year old is just dragging herself out of bed...

14 Year Old Punk: Hi Mommy. Will you stop by Juice Stop and get me a #15?
Steph: No, I'm already pulling in. By the way, how would you rate me as a mom on a scale of 1 to 10?
P: Are you kidding?
S: No, seriously, how would you rate me, 10 being the best. You can be honest.
P: A 10, duh.
S: Really?! How sweet! Thanks, baby! (All smiles!)
P: Are you kidding? You're a great mom. Wanna know how you can be a 20?
S: Yeah!
P: Stop by Juice Stop and get me a #15.

I also love that some guy at a BBQ last night thought I was 25 years old, but that's beside the point.

Okay, I want to hear yours...

Things I Don't Get...

1. Donald Trump's hair. Or any bad comb-over for that matter. Yeah, I know his hair has been severly scrutinized, especially since The Apprentice came on, but has anyone been able to explain it sufficiently?
2. Why my lights flicker half way but don't go out. Sometimes they just dim. Is there a power outage somewhere? If they only dim, does that just mean there's a power shortage?
3. Brazilian bikini waxes. Enough said.
4. The woman who gives Brazilian bikini waxes.
5. Really chubby girls who wear belly shirts. (Again...I must ask..."Doesn't anyone love them enough..." You know the rest)
6. A business that telemarkets you with a recorded message. Like they can't be bothered to make the call at night, but they expect you to accept it. (I leave a special message for those businesses at the beep...)
7. Carrot Top.
8. Why Brad Pitt would leave Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie when I'm obviously still single.
9. Why I'm still single.
10. When I got old enough to have a daughter who steals my clothes.
11. Why in the world my beautiful teenage daughter would want to steal my clothes.

I'm sure I'm just scratching the surface here.

Open Mouth...Insert Foot

God, I hate when I do this...I was driving back from lunch today with my friend Elizabeth (she went with me to pick up my new "Rehab is for Quitters" T-Shirt). Elizabeth is your steroetypical beautiful blonde southern California girl. The kind with long blonde hair, who actually looks beautiful without makeup. I would never have pegged her as a geek. So we're driving along and we passed a white SUV with stickers on the back from a local high school. It had a cheerleading emblem on one side of the back window and a colorguard emblem on the other. Now I don't know about your high school, but the lowest life form at mine was the colorguard (and maybe the ROTC). Anyway, I notice the emblem and say to Elizabeth, "Were there any bigger losers at your high school than the colorguard losers?" And of course she responds, "I was in the colorguard!" and then tops it off with "Well...that and ROTC." Crap.

Love this...#2

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway."
~Mother Teresa

It Happens in Threes...

It hasn't been scientifically proven, but it does seem to happen that great people die in threes.
Right now, let's see...First the Pope, then Prince Rainier of Monaco. Who will be next? Maybe Bush? Oh no, damnit! It has to be someone great.

Ti Many Apple Martoonies...

During the summer between my third and fourth year of college, I worked at a slimy little Italian restaurant which had absolutely no redeeming value, except that it introduced me to my friend Stacey. We were both servers at this restaurant for one summer (until I got fired and she went away to school). To give you an idea of how long ago this was, Tracey Chapman was singing about fast cars and Steve Winwood (yup, Steve Winwood!) was telling you to "Roll with it, baby!" Stacey and I just had to pretty much call each other to start cracking up. Everything we did that summer was a blast, from hanging out at the beach all day to the parties at her parents house when they were, of course, out of town. Then I went back to school in San Diego and Stacey went to Santa Barbara, I got married and had children, Stacey moved up north, and for quite a few years we lost touch with each other. I had always held such incredibly fond memories of her and knew that when we saw each other again, we would have no problem picking up where we left off. We finally had the chance. We both ended up back in the town where we grew up and saw each other a couple of weeks ago, after a ten year seperation.
In the last few years I've decided that I'm a Martha Stewart in training (without the bitchy attitude or the prison record). There is nothing in a store or restaurant that I don't see or taste and think, "I can make that!" Stacey happened to catch me during my infused alcoholic beverages phase. I don't actually drink these things myself - they are very strong - but once I made my first batch of Limoncello and it got raves reviews, I was hooked. Everyone who knows me gets a bottle of my special blends for whatever they might be celebrating. I went from lemon to raspberry, blackberry, even mandarin orange. I am also on a quest for the perfect apple martini and I think if anyone can create that recipe, of course it's me. So Stacey happened to come over on a night when I was mixing all of my concoctions to send to a friend on the east coast. I was also baking oatmeal cookies that night to send with the alcohol, so we spent the whole night in the kitchen catching up, reminiscing about our former wild days, and of course testing the alcohol mixtures. I'm sure we mixed up a few of my famous apple martinis in there just for good measure.
I hate greasing pans or spraying them with stuff because they get all goopy and hard to wash, so I bought this kind of foil that says you don't have to do that - it's non-stick. So I put the cookies in the oven, and yeah we had consumed quite a bit of alcohol by then. I was also cooking something on top of the stove and when I was done I turned it off, but instead of turning the burner off, I turned the oven off. The dials aren't even close so I must have been pretty tipsy. The cookie timer went off after 10 minutes and I took the cookies out of the oven, but for some reason they were still doughy and gross (not to mention the burner was still on and turning bright red). Of course I was confused because they weren't cooked, so I threw them back in the oven and added five minutes to the timer. Five minutes later, they still weren't cooked, I was starting to get pissed and I, in all seriousness, start blaming it on my new non-stick foil. I added five more minutes to the timer and when they still were not cooked, Stacey walked over and very quietly turned my oven back on, after watching me trying to figure the problem out for the last fifteen minutes! It was hysterical. So she turned the oven back on, I forgot to set the timer again and in our drunken stupor we both forgot about the cookies completely until we smelled them burning.
I know the lesson here is that I shouldn't be using the oven or the stove when I've consumed more than my share of alcohol, but I'm still trying to blame it on the non-stick foil!