Monday Memories 3.28.06

When I was 14 and a freshman in high school, I went to the movies one night with my girlfriends. While I was there I met a junior from another high school named Jeff Burgess (yeah, I'm naming names. In case anyone knows him, feel free to kick his ass). It was 'love at first sight!' He was older, sooo good looking, charming, and seemed to like me. You have to understand that I was very much the ugly duckling when I was younger. I was not a pretty girl in high school. I never got asked out on dates or to dances, and I was very insecure and shy. I know, I know...Those of you who know me personally are thinking there's no way I was ever shy. But I was. Painfully shy and insecure.
Anyway, I gave Jeff my phone number and following that night we started talking on the phone every night. I really liked him and he seemed to like me too. It was the end of May and he asked me to his high school's prom. For a little ugly duckling like me, this was a dream come true! I was one of those girls who had every issue of Teen magazine and tried to copy the hairstyles and make-up tips. I so badly wanted to be liked, and now I thought I was, and by a junior!! I was in heaven! Jeff called to say that he talked his mom into getting us a limo and he made reservations at a nice restaurant. I told all of my friends (most of whom had already met him the same night at the movies), and they could not believe my good luck to be asked to the prom by this boy! My mom took me shopping for a dress, shoes, and all the accessories and I could not wait! The night of the prom, it must have taken me five hours to get ready, three of those spent on my hair. And then I waited for Jeff to pick me up.
And waited.
And waited.
I could tell by the look on my mom's face that she had already realized what I was not yet willing to accept. I had been stood up for a prom. He never even called.
I finally gave up, took off my dress and put my robe on, trying to be brave about it and not cry. My sister and I both worked at the nearby movie theater at the time and my sister was working that night. My mom called my sister Jennifer at work without me knowing it and my sister sent one of her friends from work to pick me up and bring me to the movies and hang out with her while she was working. When I got there, she was behind the concession stand selling popcorn and she handed me something over the counter. It was a box from Hubbub (a very cool store in the mall) and inside was a little purple top - just a little present to cheer me up. She was only 15 years old, yet so sweet and sensitive to her little sister's feelings. Love between sisters is stronger than anything else on earth and my sister embodies that.

Good looking junior or not, Jeff Burgess turned out to be a major loser. Something really random must have triggered this memory for me, because I haven't thought of it in at least a decade. But my sister, now that's another story. She took what could have been a humiliating and devastating situation and made me feel loved and secure. She still does to this day.

Text Messages From Hell...

I am not a texter. Never have been. Don't think I ever will be. Not even if I had one of those cool phones with a keyboard built in like my daughters. I don't mind receiving text messages. In fact, most of the time the funny ones make me laugh. But don't expect me to return it. I might even forward the occasional funny text. Recently my friend received a text that said, "Hey, the Irvine police just found a naked body with bad teeth and a really small penis. Just making sure you're okay. Call me." Now that's funny. I forwarded that one to several of my male friends. (By the way, John, that was a particularly funny text about Mary Tyler Moore this morning! :)
When my friends text me a funny story or my daughters text me to say they'll be home at 5 PM, okay. But don't text me and say, "Whatcha doing?" No. I'm not answering. You've already dialed my number, just hit SEND!!! Call me and have a conversation, damn it!
So what is prompting this tirade on texting? There's this young man named Mike. I met Mike through a mutual friend and we've all had drinks together several times. Mike's a very nice guy who unfortunately took quite a liking to me in spite of the fact that I'm 10 years older than him. 10 YEARS! It's not gonna happen! But Mike gets my number from my friend and has been texting me for awhile now. I've said multiple times that there's no way I'm going out with him, but I have seen him since then with our friends. I think he's counting on wearing me down, but I can't go there (in spite of what you may have read about me here). Anyway, he texts me continually even though I've told him I don't like to text and I probably won't respond. He continues to text with questions that require a response and I just end up looking rude when I don't respond. He also keeps asking if I want to get together, just for coffee or something. If we were friends that would be fine, but that's not his intention. Here is how the texting went this morning...

Mike: "Good morning cutie" (Yeah. He's in diapers and calling me cutie.)
Steph: "Hey."
Mike: "Want to get coffee this morning?"
Steph: "No, I can't. I'm already at work and I'm swamped."
Mike: "I get the feeling you're not interested. Am I wrong?"
Steph: "MIKE! I'm sorry, I can't have a conversation by texting. It drives me crazy and it's so one-dimensional. Call me later if you want to have a real conversation."

Of course, that whole last text WAS a conversation - the kind that drive me insane!! I'm sure I won't be hearing from Young Mike anymore, so at least I won't have to explain again why I can't date a man in his 20's.

Am I over-reacting? Does this drive anyone else crazy? Am I just really old?

**By the way.....Tune into American Idol tonight to see none other than the legendary BARRY MANILOW sing live from Las Vegas!!!! :)
Whoo-Hoo!!

Monday Memories...3.13.06

When my littlest girl was 3 1/2, she swam with water wings. She's such a stud now that it's hard to imagine how she ever needed assistance, but she was pretty cute in her little Shamu wings. She would even go into the deep end at 3 years old.
If you know her, you know what a thrill seeker she is. I'm in total awe of her, seriously. She is now 11 years old, and a total stud. She can do everything she wants. Everything. And she does it with confidence.
Back to the water wings...One day we were swimming in a community pool. A friend of mine named Robert and I were in the shallow end just sort of cooling off while the girls were swimming around. Julianne (my little one) was in about three feet of water (well above her head), and asked if she could take off the water wings. I said okay, as long as she stayed up against the wall - you know how little kids who can't touch grip the wall as though their lives depend on it? Well, there she was - gripping the wall with no water wings. She had taken them off and thrown them on the concrete on the side of the pool. So as Robert and I stood watching her, all of a sudden she pushed off the wall, aiming for the stairs twenty feet a way. Robert and I lunged at her, I swear it was in slow motion, as we yelled, "Nini!!!!!!!" (Her nickname), the whole time thinking were going to pull a drowning child out of the pool. This little girl who couldn't swim without water wings a day before, all of a sudden broke out in the Little Mermaid like swimming stroke, with her arms by her side, her face under water, and her feet kicking furiously, until she made it to the stairs. When Robert and I realized that she knew what she was doing, we backed off and let her swim. She stood up on the stairs, turned and looked over her shoulder at us with the strongest look of self-satisfaction, mixed with a little bit of awe and a lot of surprise. So cute!! By then the whole crowd around the pool noticed what happened and were cheering her on!
We spent the next hour practicing her new found swimming skills with her - with the pool crowd continuing to cheer her on. We stood 10-15 feet away from the wall while she pushed off of us and mastered her skills. After about an hour, she got tired of swimming and decided to get out. She hiked herself up on the wall and out of the pool, passing the water wings on the concrete next to her. She turned and looked over shoulder, and then my little three-year-old proudly yelled, "FWO DOS WATTA WINGS AWAY!!!!"

Life Lesson #529

 

Never give a drunk girl cocktail umbrellas.

(Just a brief synopsis of my recent trip to the Bahamas) 

Hi. My Name is Steph...and I am a Coupon Whore.

There's got to be a 12 step program for me somewhere. When I go to the grocery store, I pride myself on the fact that I can get at least $30 taken off my bill by clipping coupons. I never buy anything I don't need, but I have figured out that the coupons that come out in the current Sunday paper are the same things that Ralph's discounts for that week, so using the coupon that week is key. I know what you're thinking, but don't be jealous. I know you wish you were as clever as me and had my exciting life. You can!
It's not just grocery store coupons, but every kind of store. Let me give you an example...today I checked the mail. I had easily a week's worth of mail in there. Being a new homeowner, I've been bombarded with discounts on shutters, landscaping, lighting, closets, etc. I look at every one, tossing the ones I know I'll never use. Today was the best! Not only did I have a cool IKEA coupon for $20 off a purchase of $100 or more, but I got this other coupon for my local pharmacy. All I have to is transfer a prescription to get a $20 gift card! I'm on it! This was the best of all...a place called BevMo, Beverages and More, whose slogan is "You can't go wrong!" No kidding! It's a coupon for $10 off a purchase of $30 or more. Whoo-hoo! And on the coupon is a picture of SKYY Vodka, the most important ingredient in my killer apple martinis. On the back of the flyer was a picture of a bottle of expensive champage and a couple of glasses and it said, "You're surrounded by boxes - you deserve a drink!" My thoughts exactly!! :)
I got another catalog with home furnishings where I ordered a new set of pots and pans and a toaster to match my new kitchen decor. I had two separate discounts, so I ordered them separately to get both. So I saved $20 instead of 10. I'm telling you - I'm cheap!
So in the morning, I'm off to BevMo to check out what they've got! I can't wait!

Monday Memories 2.13.06

 
 

Saturday was my daughter's Winter Formal. Her first, since she's a freshman. What a beauty, huh? Of course I had my emotional, sentimental moments when I saw how pretty and grown up she is. And I must add...in my objective and unprejudiced opinion, my daughter was by far the most beautiful and graceful girl there. :)
What was cute is that I went by myself to the lake to take pictures although I can think of a few people who wished they could have gone with me. I didn't want to embarrass her by bringing an entourage with cameras. When we got there and met her date, he brought both his parents, his grandfather, his older brother and his brother's girlfriend! His grandfather kept coming up to me and picking up my hand saying, "Oh my goodness...she is beautiful!" He took the words right out of my mouth.
He was such a sweetheart, as was the rest of his family.

It was a girl ask guy dance, so we took care of everything financially...

Dress, shoes, purse, jewelry..............$175.00
Ticket to get into the dance..............$110.00
Limo and dinner for two................... $80.00
Boutonniere for her date...................$11.00
Manicure/Pedicure/Hair/Make-up............$100.00

My baby's memories of her first formal....PRICELESS

> 

The Depravity of Today's Youth

My daughter has a friend named Alex, the nicest 13 year old boy I have ever met. He's really close to not only my older daughter but the younger one as well and we all look for excuses to have Alex come over. Last year, we bought him his own Steeler jersey and dragged him to the Steeler bar with us to cheer them on, and he's been going with us ever since (of course, this year was absolutely insane). The kid is just a good sport, he's very respectful and fun, and puts up with my hormomal daughter better than anyone else can.
Three weeks ago, before the Steeler game against the Broncos, we picked Alex up on the way to the Steeler bar. (Side note: for those of you who might be thinking, "Wait a minute. Steph is actually taking her children to a bar?!" Let me remind you that it's a Steeler bar, thank you very much, and I've been a die hard Steeler fan for a long time, so I think raising my children to get behind a team, stick with it, cheer them on through good times and bad - well that's just good parenting!! :) Anyway, I digress...so we're on our way to the bar and we stop by to get Alex. We get into a pretty bland conversation about what he had been doing all weekend when he tells us that he went to the movies the night before. He and his friends were so bored with the movie that they left early. How bad does a movie have to suck to get a bunch of 13 year old boys to leave? All they do is screw around in there anyway. So he goes on to tell us that out of sheer boredom they went into the pet store next door and decided to buy a bunch of Mexican Fighting Fish, and a few harmless little goldfish, to throw in the fountain outside and see what would happen. Am I the only one who finds this hysterical? If my daughter came home with that story, I couldn't even be mad, I would just be impressed with her creativity. So to continue the story, Alex said that when they were inside the pet store, the woman behind the counter wouldn't sell them the fish because she said they were fighting fish, they were dangerous to other fish (duh),and she wouldn't sell them to the boys because they were under 18. So they went outside and stopped the first customer to walk in the pet store and asked him to buy them the Mexican Fighting Fish. I stopped him at that point, laughing hysterically and yelled, "You pimped fish!!!" How funny is that?! I can see it now...Alex and his friends standing outside the pet store, saying something like this..."Psst...Dude. Can you score us a couple of fighting fish while you're in there? Here's an extra five-spot if you do." Ha! I love that kid.

Monday Memories...1.30.06

I think I'm going to get fired from this Monday Memories gig and it's only my second week. Last week I wrote about memories that have yet to happen, and today I'm writing about one that should have happened.

I just finished watching the Screen Actor's Guild Awards, and while there is so much I loved about the night (I'm a sucker for everything about awards shows), my favorite part was at the very end. Two words. Pierce Brosnan.

I love him.

I don't have celebrity crushes. Really. But him, yeah...I think he's perfect. I love him. I think he looks like someone drew him. I think he's perfect (am I being redundant? Because if I'm not, let me mention how much I love him). If I could piece together what my ideal man would look like, he would be Pierce Brosnan. I think he would love me too. I think we would be perfect together. I find it a total travesty that neither of my children was fathered by him. Did anyone else see him tonight - how gorgeous he looked in his tux when he presented the award to Reese Witherspoon? As soon as I heard the announcer say his name, I got up and stood two feet from my television so I could get the best unobstructed close-up view of the man who should have been my husband. When Reese walked to the stage, she got to kiss him! And he sweetly put his hand on her arm, because in his perfection I'm sure he's just really sweet that way. But then when she was all done, she just walked right by him and left the stage. Is she nuts?! She had Pierce Brosnan right there!!

Sadly and sickly, this is where my made up memory comes in. Since people are always looking for memorable moments on awards show, I would have planted the biggest, sloppiest, open-mouthed kiss on him and acted like it was no big deal at all - it's all in the name of art! It would be played year after year on SAG highlight shows, each time with him looking on, regretful that he married that trampy environmentalist with too many names (who by the way, I hear has a horrible facial twitch and poor oral hygiene). Following the show he would probably dial my number several times a day, hanging up after losing his nerve, knowing that he had let his soulmate slip through his fingers. A man in true anguish.

Pierce, if you're reading this (and I'm sure you are)...it's never too late for true love! Sure I might play hard to get for like an hour and a half, because a girl's got to have her pride, but remember..."you're my density!"

Monday Memories...1.23.06

I joined the Monday Memories Club, which was started on a great website, that I would link you to if I could think clearly enough to link right now (I will do that shortly, I promise). Although Monday only has about an hour left, and I am exhausted, I wanted to get this down while I had it in my head. I came across the concept of Monday Memories and fell in love with it. What better way to honor the incredible people in my life, and my experiences. I've been so tired though lately, and hung up on a little silly graphic that I let Monday almost come and go without writing this post (Yes, I'm that anal that a little graphic can hang me up for that long).

Although I'm not writing about the memory that I originally intended, and it's a little early to be adding a twist to this new concept of Monday Memories, it is what is on my mind right now.

Today is my youngest daughter's 11th birthday. As some of you know, I wake my daughters up each year at exactly the time they were born, crawl into bed with them and re-tell the story of the day they were born. I usually end up getting very emotional about it every year! They used to love it, then they made fun of me for it, now they expect it and once again love it. So this morning, my 14 year old and I went into the little one's bedroom, laid down on either side of her and started her special day with stories of how glad we were that she entered the world, and our lives. Friday her dad and I took her snowboarding for her birthday, so today was pretty low-key. She went to school, I picked her up and brought her to my office (which she loves), let her choose the restaurant for dinner, picked up her best friend and then came home to open gifts (I only let my girls have a party every other year and this was an off year). She loved her presents and kissed me goodnight saying what a great day she had.

Even though it was a great day, that is not the focus of this Monday Memory. When my girls went to bed, I took a long bath in my new bathtub, then went downstairs to turn off the lights. I passed my girls rooms where I knew they were sound asleep and missed the days of when I could crawl into bed with them and sleep all night, listening to them breathing. I stopped doing that because I became too obsessed with the perfect night's sleep. I walked down my beautiful hand built wooden stairs, past the little black cat, the incorrigible puppy in her crate, and the brand new little Betta fish named Bono, and went in the kitchen to turn off the lights. While I was walking down the stairs, looking down into my living room and my new house, I flashed back to earlier in the night when we were in that very room with my daughter while she opened her presents. I thought about tonight and I thought about the future. I wondered what kind of memories I will have in this new house, as there will undoubtedly be more than I can imagine. Every Christmas yet to come, every Prom night, every birthday just like today. I wonder how many happy years we'll spend in this house, because although I bought this house intending to stay here forever, one never really knows. I wonder if this will be the house where my daughters' fondest memories will originate. I wonder if my daughters will feel relieved when they walk through the door after a brutal semester at college. I wonder if I've created enough traditions and memories to sustain them when they feel far away from home.

Our memories, for as long as we can remember, have been of just the three of us. Their dad and I have been apart for so long that neither one of them, or even I for that matter, can remember back to when we were together. So it's always been just us, and we've always been thankful for each other. Sometimes I worry about what memories they're missing because of that; if they will remember our family as being "incomplete." I don't think so, though. I think we've done alright for ourselves. And 20 Christmases from now, I think we'll look back, not on what was missing during these years together, but of the incredible love that we have for one another, the gratitude we now feel for finally having our "own space," and the incredible memories of birthdays just like today.

Whoo-Hoo!! I LOVE her!!!

Check me out...I'm Katherine Hepburn.
I got this off of Jenni's site...



Katharine Hepburn
You scored 26% grit, 14% wit, 57% flair, and 21% class!

"You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women."

And of course this test is completely accurate! So many interesting men fall at my feet that it can sometimes get embarrassing. If you look at my percentages of different personality traits, I'm a bit of a mutt, but I just like to think of myself as 'well-rounded.'

To Preparation H or not to Preparation H...Now THAT is the question...

I don't think Shakespeare would mind me borrowing his line for such an important topic, do you?

So I'm in Target yesterday and as I'm walking past an aisle in the Health & Beauty section, the Preparation H catches my eye. A little background on this should be that I'm turning 40 this year. Yes the big 4-0. I cannot tell you how much I'm hating it. I feel old. I'm getting wrinkles I never had before. I have under eye puffiness. Which brings me back to the Preparation H story. Ladies, you all know what I'm talking about, but does it work? That was my big dilemma while standing in the Health & Beauty section of Target yesterday. Well, that and having to explain to my 10 year old what one would usually use Preparation H for. For years it's been rumored that this stuff gets rid of bags under your eyes but I've never known anyone who actually tried it. I Googled it and got conflicting opinions. The makers of Preparation H say it doesn't work for this problem, but what are they going to say when thousands of women go blind from putting ass cream too close to their eyes and they have lawsuits on their hands? They have to make some disclaimer. I'm convinced that if it does work, they're keeping it quiet and marketing the exact same formula at Bloomingdale's for $75 an ounce. Being the pioneer that I am, YES I bought the Preparation H and am willing to share all of my under eye puffiness research. I even bought the colorless, odorless, soothing gel formula for maximum comfort. I'll keep you posted.

My results so far...

Day 1 - Nothing. I put it on three times in a two hour period last night and so far nothing. Woke up this morning with puffy eyes.

But I'm not giving up! What kind of a pioneer would I be? Where would the hundreds of thousands of women who currently read my blog (alright, maybe not hundreds of thousands) turn for this vital information if I give up now? Don't worry, ladies. I commit to putting ass cream on my face for at least two weeks and will keep you posted at the first sign of success.

Weirdness

A little bit ago, Danika wrote a wierdlist where she had to name five weird things about herself. As I was reading it, I thought..."Wow, there are so many weird things about me, I could never narrow it down to five." So here's just one. Kind of weird, but really just twisted. And I have shamelessly taught my little girl (the 10 year-old) the twistedness of my personality, and now she is also just as twisted.
My older daughter is 14 and, although she IS a teenager, she's a bit of a goody-goody (well at least in this stage of my denial, I'm insisting that she is). If the story weren't somewhat implausible it wouldn't be funny. Anyway, the other night she asked if she could walk to Starbuck's with her friends, one particular friend named Michael who she is sort of digging right now. While she was gone, my little girl and I ran some errands, a couple of which were in the same shopping center as Starbuck's. We took a verrryyy slow drive past Starbuck's to see if we could spy on her a bit, like maybe they were sitting outside at a table? You never know. No luck. They must have been inside because we couldn't see them anywhere. The conversation that followed went like this...keep in mind that this conversation came out of our mouths without even thinking twice and neither one of us even cracked a smile. Sadly, this is the weirdness that just comes naturally to us...

Me: I don't see her. Do you see her?
J: Nope. (pause) She's probably inside making out with Michael.
Me: Yeah. Between bong hits.
J. Yeah.

My Christmas Card to You...

This year is almost over. I don't know what it held for you, but for me it had not only the lowest points of my life, but in some ways the highest. As I write this, I'm at my ex-husband's house spending Christmas Eve with he and his wife, and her family. A little surreal, but makes me feel good that life goes on, love endures and the holidays are all about love.

Which is why I feel the need to write this very politically incorrect Christmas card. It seems to me that recognizing the true meaning of Christmas is out of fashion, so in my Christmas card to cyber-space, I need to go back to the basics.

Like I said, this year has been the highest and the lowest. I have no idea what next year holds, but I think it's going to be awesome. Can't be sure, but I just have a feeling.

This is what I DO know... I know that there is a God, a creator of this universe and everything in it, who loves me and loves each of you passing by this blog. I know that He doesn't care what we've done, who we've done it with, how hideous we've been or how much we've ignored Him in our lifetimes. He loves us unconditionally and has since before we were born. Regardless of your religion, your political beliefs or whatever else separates human beings, God does not care. Even if you do not love Him, He still loves you. For you parents...you know how much you love your kids? He loves them more. For those of you with hideous in-laws, even those with enemies...He loves them too, as much as He loves you. He models unconditional love and is the only one who truly can. Some of you may scoff at this very politically incorrect Christmas card, and that's okay. You may not believe in what I'm saying, and that's okay. I've never shoved my beliefs down anyone's throat and that isn't my intention now. Just wanted you to remember that no matter how alone you feel, you never are.

My prayer for the next year is that God blesses each one of you abundantly. That your life, and the lives of everyone you love and care for, is filled with peace, love and joy.

Merry Christmas.

My 10 Year-Old's Letter to Santa, Part II

My little girl put a stocking up on the wall the other day to fill with letters to Santa that we write between now and Christmas. She's added one a day for several days, and this was her last one...she is priceless, and I'm a lucky mom.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Dear Santa,

I am so glad you reached our house even though we moved! You can take a look around! It's awesome! My mommy is the best! And got it! I told you on my list but I was wondering if you could give my mommy a gift even though she is a mommy! She is the greatest mommy and really deserves it! Will you also fill her stocking? Hers is the one that looks just like mine but is hanging from the Y (as in the word J-O-Y). She loves candles, pictures, stuff that keeps you warm, shoes, a lot of things! Oh I forgot she also loves jewelry! I hope you have a Merry X-MAS! Thank you for everything!

I love you!

(Heart), Nini

Bastard

 


He could have been a gracious winner, but instead he took the low road. 

My 10-Year-Old's Letter to Santa...

Santa,
This year can I please have........
1. Old Navy Shopping Cart saved in My Account under Fav's
2. Abercrombiekids Cart saved in Mommy's Favorites (with a heart instead of an apostrophe in "Mommy's")
3. (Crossed out) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (I guess she changed her mind)
4. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
5. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
6. Creativity for Kids Soccer Memory Book Kit - Target
7. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (She's a little indecisive)
8. Fish - blue
9. Fish aquarium
10. Shells, plants, fish signs, things for my fish
11. Datamax - K2360 from Target
12. Limited Too Shopping Cart saved in Mommy's Favorites (Yes, another heart)
13. Nike running shoes

Love (actually another heart),
Neen (her nickname is Nini)

Dear Santa,
Thank you for all the other great gifts! You are awesome!

Love (heart),
Neen

THANK YOU 4 EVERYTHING!


......She told me she was making it easier on Santa this year by finding everything on the internet and bookmarking it. Yeah, she's that cute.

Pet Peeve #5...

...Condescending people.

I got my house!! Yahoo! My loan went through at the rate I needed. My friend Todd made it happen and it's closing on Wednesday. I'm so excited!!

So here's my pet peeve...people who try to burst my bubble by being condescending. At least 95% of the people who I've told about my house have had the same reaction. Now remember, I live in a nice town; people who live here have money. Unless you're like me, however, and usually just squeaking by. But the houses around here are outrageously priced. My ex-husband has a beautiful home which goes for about a million bucks. My mom's house, the same house I grew up in right down the street, goes for about a million bucks. My house is not like that. In fact, it's a townhome meaning it's attached on the side. So whenever someone asks me about my house, how big it is and stuff, I describe how many bedrooms, bathrooms, give them the square footage, etc. and then I say, "It's a townhome, attached on the side." I figure not to mention that would be misleading because I'm definitely not buying one of those big detached homes that are so expensive. And almost every time, they respond with, "That's Okaaaaayyyyy.......!!!!!" Yeah. I know. They say it like it's really not okay, but since I can't afford anything else, then it's...well...okay. I'm really just so stoked and a little proud that as a single mom I can even afford to buy in this area. I seriously never thought I would be able to. The fact that my home is attached does not bother me at all, I'm just so excited to have it. But that reaction makes me feel like I didn't do good enough, like I'm settling.

I wonder if I just have baggage about this for some reason, like I'm overreacting to it. Maybe. But, jeez...enough already.

Oh well, I love my little attached house! :)

Life Lesson #452.......

(If you missed the first 451, you haven't been paying attention.)

............Never, never, never, but NEVER burn your bridges.

I have this ex-boyfriend, my girls affectionately call him "the French Guy." Born and raised in Paris, out here for a few years, and yes - that romantic. We dated for a couple of years and he's an absolutely great guy. One of our biggest problems, however, was that we disagreed on the place of ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends in our lives (in my case, also an ex-husband). It drove him nuts that I'm friends with almost everyone I've ever dated. Not one or two dates, but if I spent any respectable amount of time with them, I'm still in touch with them today. And as far as my ex-husband goes...let's just say that just today, his wife and I bought Aerosmith tickets together so we could all go in February. Well, this sort of behavior drove the French Guy nuts. I attributed it to serious insecurity. My perspective is that if you care that much about a person, and invest a large amount of your life in them, how do you just cut them out of your life? Now, I'm not talking about everyone being friends right away; people get hurt and healing takes time. It took several years for my ex-husband's wife and I to become friends. But people grow, move on, heal. I feel that I have managed to end relationships with mutual respect, and the same qualities that attracted me to that person - their character, integrity, sense of humor, etc. - still exist in the friendships.
Okay.......all that to say this........I am in the process of buying a house. In fact, Escrow is supposed to close tomorrow. It's not going to. Hopefully next week, but I've hit a serious snag. Here's some background...As most of you know, I have recently gone from making no money to making a decent amount of money. So the first thing I thought was to buy a house (Okay, the first thing I did was buy a really bitchin' new car! But I digress...). This house was way out of my price range six months ago. In fact, a hut in Haiti was way out of my price range six months ago. So when my very good friend Scot (one T), who is a real estate agent, started talking to me about buying a house, I started considering that I could truly afford it - and I can. I found a house that I fell absolutely IN LOVE with. I wanted to put an offer down so who was the first person I called? YES - an ex-boyfriend named Todd. Todd and I dated for six years. Six years! From the time we were 16 until we were 22. That's not just dating - that's growing up together. We both know it. Those were some formative years. We've been friends since we were 13 years old and we both know how significant that is. When we were together, everyone including us thought we would get married someday. Our families were intertwined. When we broke up, I got married within a couple of years, but he waited until we were in our 30's and of course I was there. At his wedding, his grandparents still insisted I sit with them. Todd is married to someone who is absolutely perfect for him, but we both realize the importance and the impact that our relationship had on our lives. The only lull in our friendship was during the two years I dated the jealous French Guy, and I'm sorry I allowed his insecurity to take me out of Todd's life while his kids were being born.
Well, Todd is now the president of his own mortgage lending company, or whatever you call it. He has several branches throughout California (we always knew he'd be extremely successful), so of course I called him immediately. The conversation was really cool and I learned a lot about loans, but the most significant thing he said was, "Don't worry, Steph. I'll make sure no one makes any money off of you." Music to my ears. Really, it's the only reason I'm able to afford this house. I'm squeaking by as it is, and having to pay points or a higher interest rate would break the deal. If this thing actually goes through, I owe him big. Since I can't prove my income for more than a few months (and since a stated income loan will take the mortgage payment right out of my price range), he's calling in favors like you wouldn't believe. He's so well off he's been able to retire for years, and he's got a beautiful wife at home and two babies, yet he was at work last night until 7 PM trying to talk the president of a bank into taking my loan as is, convincing him that I'm not a risk. So I'm back in the game, when I thought it was over. I owe it all to Todd. I'm not glad he's in my life because of what he can do for me. I'm glad he's in my life because I have a friend that cares enough about me to fight for me.

P.S. The French Guy and I broke up two years ago and for the first time in his life, he's GREAT friends with an ex-girlfriend!

P.S.S. If anyone feels the urge to send out a prayer or two for my new house - it would be greatly appreciated!! :)

Skanky Halloween Bash Follow-Up...

Here is a Halloween picture that I promised. I think I finally found a better way to post pictures, so hopefully, I'll be able to post more. It isn't very clear though, is it? I'm with my friend, Reed. I'm not sure what he's supposed to be...one of Robin's Merry Men? And when did I start looking like Dolly Parton? Seriously, I think when I got that dress, the boobs came with it. Of course my daughter is furious that I didn't get the name or the autograph of the "Laguna Beach" girl who tried to pay my way into the party. I guess I lagged.

I continue to embarrass myself.

I'm 39 years old and pretty much over what other people think, which is the only reason I can write this post. As if it weren't bad enough that I'm a full blown Fanilow (remember my Vegas adventure of several months ago?), I think even I may have sunk to a new low. The other night on KCET, our version of PBS, I caught a special called The Carpenter's Remembered. I was in heaven! Seriously - pure bliss! I LOVE the Carpenter's. When I was a little girl (some would argue that I still AM a little girl) we would cruise in my mom's light blue Ford Thunderbird (see Back in the Day), and pop in the 8-Track tape of the Carpenter's Greatest Hits. My sister and I would make up our own words to "Close To You" so it didn't look like we were totally enjoying it, but we were. We loved it. To this day when we go sing karaoke, the first thing we do is check out which Carpenter's songs they have and we can seriously belt out Top of the World. Of course we think we're awesome, and we're pretty sure a recording contract is just around the corner.

So if the Fanilow tag isn't enough, the Carpenter's obsession isn't either. Immediately following that special was another stellar moment in the history of public television. Yes.....none other than John Denver: The Wildlife Concert. Does life get any better?! NOOO! Trust me - it doesn't! So I had to watch the whole thing, singing every song, reminiscing about my John Denver filled childhood days, making my teenager sit with me and listen. Gotta give her credit - she put up with it. Then I immediately got on Amazon and ordered the Carpenter's and John Denver's big collection CD's.

It's funny to me how KCET raises money with tributes to singers who died too young.
Oh well. I can't wait to get my CD's in the mail, mostly to torture my kids in the car!