My Christmas Card to You...

This year is almost over. I don't know what it held for you, but for me it had not only the lowest points of my life, but in some ways the highest. As I write this, I'm at my ex-husband's house spending Christmas Eve with he and his wife, and her family. A little surreal, but makes me feel good that life goes on, love endures and the holidays are all about love.

Which is why I feel the need to write this very politically incorrect Christmas card. It seems to me that recognizing the true meaning of Christmas is out of fashion, so in my Christmas card to cyber-space, I need to go back to the basics.

Like I said, this year has been the highest and the lowest. I have no idea what next year holds, but I think it's going to be awesome. Can't be sure, but I just have a feeling.

This is what I DO know... I know that there is a God, a creator of this universe and everything in it, who loves me and loves each of you passing by this blog. I know that He doesn't care what we've done, who we've done it with, how hideous we've been or how much we've ignored Him in our lifetimes. He loves us unconditionally and has since before we were born. Regardless of your religion, your political beliefs or whatever else separates human beings, God does not care. Even if you do not love Him, He still loves you. For you parents...you know how much you love your kids? He loves them more. For those of you with hideous in-laws, even those with enemies...He loves them too, as much as He loves you. He models unconditional love and is the only one who truly can. Some of you may scoff at this very politically incorrect Christmas card, and that's okay. You may not believe in what I'm saying, and that's okay. I've never shoved my beliefs down anyone's throat and that isn't my intention now. Just wanted you to remember that no matter how alone you feel, you never are.

My prayer for the next year is that God blesses each one of you abundantly. That your life, and the lives of everyone you love and care for, is filled with peace, love and joy.

Merry Christmas.

My 10 Year-Old's Letter to Santa, Part II

My little girl put a stocking up on the wall the other day to fill with letters to Santa that we write between now and Christmas. She's added one a day for several days, and this was her last one...she is priceless, and I'm a lucky mom.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Dear Santa,

I am so glad you reached our house even though we moved! You can take a look around! It's awesome! My mommy is the best! And got it! I told you on my list but I was wondering if you could give my mommy a gift even though she is a mommy! She is the greatest mommy and really deserves it! Will you also fill her stocking? Hers is the one that looks just like mine but is hanging from the Y (as in the word J-O-Y). She loves candles, pictures, stuff that keeps you warm, shoes, a lot of things! Oh I forgot she also loves jewelry! I hope you have a Merry X-MAS! Thank you for everything!

I love you!

(Heart), Nini

Bastard

 


He could have been a gracious winner, but instead he took the low road. 

My 10-Year-Old's Letter to Santa...

Santa,
This year can I please have........
1. Old Navy Shopping Cart saved in My Account under Fav's
2. Abercrombiekids Cart saved in Mommy's Favorites (with a heart instead of an apostrophe in "Mommy's")
3. (Crossed out) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (I guess she changed her mind)
4. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
5. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
6. Creativity for Kids Soccer Memory Book Kit - Target
7. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (She's a little indecisive)
8. Fish - blue
9. Fish aquarium
10. Shells, plants, fish signs, things for my fish
11. Datamax - K2360 from Target
12. Limited Too Shopping Cart saved in Mommy's Favorites (Yes, another heart)
13. Nike running shoes

Love (actually another heart),
Neen (her nickname is Nini)

Dear Santa,
Thank you for all the other great gifts! You are awesome!

Love (heart),
Neen

THANK YOU 4 EVERYTHING!


......She told me she was making it easier on Santa this year by finding everything on the internet and bookmarking it. Yeah, she's that cute.

Pet Peeve #5...

...Condescending people.

I got my house!! Yahoo! My loan went through at the rate I needed. My friend Todd made it happen and it's closing on Wednesday. I'm so excited!!

So here's my pet peeve...people who try to burst my bubble by being condescending. At least 95% of the people who I've told about my house have had the same reaction. Now remember, I live in a nice town; people who live here have money. Unless you're like me, however, and usually just squeaking by. But the houses around here are outrageously priced. My ex-husband has a beautiful home which goes for about a million bucks. My mom's house, the same house I grew up in right down the street, goes for about a million bucks. My house is not like that. In fact, it's a townhome meaning it's attached on the side. So whenever someone asks me about my house, how big it is and stuff, I describe how many bedrooms, bathrooms, give them the square footage, etc. and then I say, "It's a townhome, attached on the side." I figure not to mention that would be misleading because I'm definitely not buying one of those big detached homes that are so expensive. And almost every time, they respond with, "That's Okaaaaayyyyy.......!!!!!" Yeah. I know. They say it like it's really not okay, but since I can't afford anything else, then it's...well...okay. I'm really just so stoked and a little proud that as a single mom I can even afford to buy in this area. I seriously never thought I would be able to. The fact that my home is attached does not bother me at all, I'm just so excited to have it. But that reaction makes me feel like I didn't do good enough, like I'm settling.

I wonder if I just have baggage about this for some reason, like I'm overreacting to it. Maybe. But, jeez...enough already.

Oh well, I love my little attached house! :)

Life Lesson #452.......

(If you missed the first 451, you haven't been paying attention.)

............Never, never, never, but NEVER burn your bridges.

I have this ex-boyfriend, my girls affectionately call him "the French Guy." Born and raised in Paris, out here for a few years, and yes - that romantic. We dated for a couple of years and he's an absolutely great guy. One of our biggest problems, however, was that we disagreed on the place of ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends in our lives (in my case, also an ex-husband). It drove him nuts that I'm friends with almost everyone I've ever dated. Not one or two dates, but if I spent any respectable amount of time with them, I'm still in touch with them today. And as far as my ex-husband goes...let's just say that just today, his wife and I bought Aerosmith tickets together so we could all go in February. Well, this sort of behavior drove the French Guy nuts. I attributed it to serious insecurity. My perspective is that if you care that much about a person, and invest a large amount of your life in them, how do you just cut them out of your life? Now, I'm not talking about everyone being friends right away; people get hurt and healing takes time. It took several years for my ex-husband's wife and I to become friends. But people grow, move on, heal. I feel that I have managed to end relationships with mutual respect, and the same qualities that attracted me to that person - their character, integrity, sense of humor, etc. - still exist in the friendships.
Okay.......all that to say this........I am in the process of buying a house. In fact, Escrow is supposed to close tomorrow. It's not going to. Hopefully next week, but I've hit a serious snag. Here's some background...As most of you know, I have recently gone from making no money to making a decent amount of money. So the first thing I thought was to buy a house (Okay, the first thing I did was buy a really bitchin' new car! But I digress...). This house was way out of my price range six months ago. In fact, a hut in Haiti was way out of my price range six months ago. So when my very good friend Scot (one T), who is a real estate agent, started talking to me about buying a house, I started considering that I could truly afford it - and I can. I found a house that I fell absolutely IN LOVE with. I wanted to put an offer down so who was the first person I called? YES - an ex-boyfriend named Todd. Todd and I dated for six years. Six years! From the time we were 16 until we were 22. That's not just dating - that's growing up together. We both know it. Those were some formative years. We've been friends since we were 13 years old and we both know how significant that is. When we were together, everyone including us thought we would get married someday. Our families were intertwined. When we broke up, I got married within a couple of years, but he waited until we were in our 30's and of course I was there. At his wedding, his grandparents still insisted I sit with them. Todd is married to someone who is absolutely perfect for him, but we both realize the importance and the impact that our relationship had on our lives. The only lull in our friendship was during the two years I dated the jealous French Guy, and I'm sorry I allowed his insecurity to take me out of Todd's life while his kids were being born.
Well, Todd is now the president of his own mortgage lending company, or whatever you call it. He has several branches throughout California (we always knew he'd be extremely successful), so of course I called him immediately. The conversation was really cool and I learned a lot about loans, but the most significant thing he said was, "Don't worry, Steph. I'll make sure no one makes any money off of you." Music to my ears. Really, it's the only reason I'm able to afford this house. I'm squeaking by as it is, and having to pay points or a higher interest rate would break the deal. If this thing actually goes through, I owe him big. Since I can't prove my income for more than a few months (and since a stated income loan will take the mortgage payment right out of my price range), he's calling in favors like you wouldn't believe. He's so well off he's been able to retire for years, and he's got a beautiful wife at home and two babies, yet he was at work last night until 7 PM trying to talk the president of a bank into taking my loan as is, convincing him that I'm not a risk. So I'm back in the game, when I thought it was over. I owe it all to Todd. I'm not glad he's in my life because of what he can do for me. I'm glad he's in my life because I have a friend that cares enough about me to fight for me.

P.S. The French Guy and I broke up two years ago and for the first time in his life, he's GREAT friends with an ex-girlfriend!

P.S.S. If anyone feels the urge to send out a prayer or two for my new house - it would be greatly appreciated!! :)

Skanky Halloween Bash Follow-Up...

Here is a Halloween picture that I promised. I think I finally found a better way to post pictures, so hopefully, I'll be able to post more. It isn't very clear though, is it? I'm with my friend, Reed. I'm not sure what he's supposed to be...one of Robin's Merry Men? And when did I start looking like Dolly Parton? Seriously, I think when I got that dress, the boobs came with it. Of course my daughter is furious that I didn't get the name or the autograph of the "Laguna Beach" girl who tried to pay my way into the party. I guess I lagged.

I continue to embarrass myself.

I'm 39 years old and pretty much over what other people think, which is the only reason I can write this post. As if it weren't bad enough that I'm a full blown Fanilow (remember my Vegas adventure of several months ago?), I think even I may have sunk to a new low. The other night on KCET, our version of PBS, I caught a special called The Carpenter's Remembered. I was in heaven! Seriously - pure bliss! I LOVE the Carpenter's. When I was a little girl (some would argue that I still AM a little girl) we would cruise in my mom's light blue Ford Thunderbird (see Back in the Day), and pop in the 8-Track tape of the Carpenter's Greatest Hits. My sister and I would make up our own words to "Close To You" so it didn't look like we were totally enjoying it, but we were. We loved it. To this day when we go sing karaoke, the first thing we do is check out which Carpenter's songs they have and we can seriously belt out Top of the World. Of course we think we're awesome, and we're pretty sure a recording contract is just around the corner.

So if the Fanilow tag isn't enough, the Carpenter's obsession isn't either. Immediately following that special was another stellar moment in the history of public television. Yes.....none other than John Denver: The Wildlife Concert. Does life get any better?! NOOO! Trust me - it doesn't! So I had to watch the whole thing, singing every song, reminiscing about my John Denver filled childhood days, making my teenager sit with me and listen. Gotta give her credit - she put up with it. Then I immediately got on Amazon and ordered the Carpenter's and John Denver's big collection CD's.

It's funny to me how KCET raises money with tributes to singers who died too young.
Oh well. I can't wait to get my CD's in the mail, mostly to torture my kids in the car!