Monday, January 30, 2006

Monday Memories...1.30.06

I think I'm going to get fired from this Monday Memories gig and it's only my second week. Last week I wrote about memories that have yet to happen, and today I'm writing about one that should have happened.

I just finished watching the Screen Actor's Guild Awards, and while there is so much I loved about the night (I'm a sucker for everything about awards shows), my favorite part was at the very end. Two words. Pierce Brosnan.

I love him.

I don't have celebrity crushes. Really. But him, yeah...I think he's perfect. I love him. I think he looks like someone drew him. I think he's perfect (am I being redundant? Because if I'm not, let me mention how much I love him). If I could piece together what my ideal man would look like, he would be Pierce Brosnan. I think he would love me too. I think we would be perfect together. I find it a total travesty that neither of my children was fathered by him. Did anyone else see him tonight - how gorgeous he looked in his tux when he presented the award to Reese Witherspoon? As soon as I heard the announcer say his name, I got up and stood two feet from my television so I could get the best unobstructed close-up view of the man who should have been my husband. When Reese walked to the stage, she got to kiss him! And he sweetly put his hand on her arm, because in his perfection I'm sure he's just really sweet that way. But then when she was all done, she just walked right by him and left the stage. Is she nuts?! She had Pierce Brosnan right there!!

Sadly and sickly, this is where my made up memory comes in. Since people are always looking for memorable moments on awards show, I would have planted the biggest, sloppiest, open-mouthed kiss on him and acted like it was no big deal at all - it's all in the name of art! It would be played year after year on SAG highlight shows, each time with him looking on, regretful that he married that trampy environmentalist with too many names (who by the way, I hear has a horrible facial twitch and poor oral hygiene). Following the show he would probably dial my number several times a day, hanging up after losing his nerve, knowing that he had let his soulmate slip through his fingers. A man in true anguish.

Pierce, if you're reading this (and I'm sure you are)...it's never too late for true love! Sure I might play hard to get for like an hour and a half, because a girl's got to have her pride, but remember..."you're my density!"

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh, he is way dreamy. love his accent. he can whisper sweet nothings in my ear any time. lol.

Jenni said...

Wait...your "density?" HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!

Sorry, that was uncalled for.

I love him to, but you can have him because I'm all about Matt Damon. And I'm honestly not sure why, it's not like he's pretty like Pierce, there's just something about him. And he just got married to some bar wench from South Beach with an illegitimate child...bitch.

;)

John said...

Isn't is somewhat sacrilegious to quote George McFly in a post about the suave Mr. Brosnan?? ;)

OldLady Of The Hills said...

Reading how you feel about Pierce Brosnan I sure can understand it. I think he is one of THE most attractive men, ever! I don't know if you read my post called "Liar, Liar Pants On Fire"..I cannot remember exactly when I posted it, but the idea was to tell 4 things about me and three would be the truth and one would be a lie...One of the 4 things was that my next door neighbor, Marilu Henner, gave me my kitty....Well, that WAS the lie. In fact, Pierce Brosnan and his then wife (Cassie, who died of Ovarian Cancer) and their kids who were living in that same house before Marilu Henner DID give me my cat Mooney...! And one of the things I said about him was that he was as nice as he was GREAT looking! And it is true! A very dear man.
I loved the way you wrote about his 'frumpy wife'...Very Very Funny! Great Post!

Anonymous said...

I didn't watch the awards, haven't seen Pierce Brosnan in years, but I know what you mean. He looks painterly or sculpted, very archetypal.