Holy Korean Day Spa, Batman!

I've put off writing this for a couple of days because I'm still trying to get over the feeling of being violated.
My girlfriends and I went to a Korean Day Spa on Sunday for the Body Scrub/Oil Massage package. For 70 bucks, it seemed like the best deal in town. We've done day spas before. In fact, my friend Michelle is a massage therapist, so I'm rather spoiled in the massage department. This, however, was unlike anything I've ever experienced. We went to a spa where you could use the other facilities before your scheduled appointment time. We decide to jump in the spa, use the sauna and salt room (don't ask). There were three of us in the beginning, and a fourth friend showed up a little later. So Michelle, Remy and myself show up, change into our bathing suits and hit the jacuzzi. We walk in and we are literally the only three people with a stitch of clothing on. We stuck out like a sore thumb. I felt like I had just walked into a Roman bath house. The only towels being used were wrapped around women's heads. Of course everyone was staring at us wondering why these crazy white women were being such prudes. So in the sauna, I looked at my friends and said, "You guys...we're gonna have to get naked." Our friend Susie walked in and she didn't think to bring a bathing suit, so she just stripped right down. Next was Michelle, but if I had her body, I'd be showing it off too. Pretty soon we're all naked. That was just the beginning.
Next came the treatments. By now we're all walking around naked and they call us into a back room for the body scrub. There were no private rooms, no dividers, no sheets on the tables, just three tables in one room that we had to lie down on to get scrubbed. My friends and I have no secrets left. The woman who was doing my scrub got every square inch of my body. And she was not shy about how she was going to reach every square inch of my body. I'm much more limber than I thought. She now knows me better than my ex-husband. I snuck a peek over at Michelle to check out what her woman was doing and based on what I saw, I think mine was doing a particularly thorough job. I think it's time to take her home to meet the folks. She rinsed me off by throwing buckets of hot water over me, while I was still on the table.
Next came the oil massage. The woman rubs me down with liquid soap and sends me off to the shower, which was just a spout coming out of the wall in the middle of the room. And apparently she thought every part of me needed a little exfoliating, because I was washing body scrub out of every nook and cranny. Like I said, I have no secrets left. I returned to my table and lay on my stomach while the woman pours about a gallon of baby oil on me and starts rubbing. It was surreal. I tried to relax, but couldn't when I realized that she was actually straddling me on the table and now had her knees in my butt! Keep in mind, I'm laying in a puddle of oil and all I can think is that when she goes sliding off the table, she better not grab onto me on her way down! I had a visual of my oily naked body sprawled on top of the poor massage therapist on the tile floor. It was not pretty. So after awhile, she's standing up by my head massaging my back, and here's the best part...she actually leans over and slaps my ass!!! Yeah, you read that right. I'm thinking, "Did that just happen?" And she does it again. To be fair, she then slapped other parts of my body too, with her hands kind of cupped. From what I understand some massage therapists do this for circulation or something, I don't know. She just happened to hit my butt first and I thought I was getting way more than I paid for. Then I hear Michelle get slapped and then our friend Susie, and pretty soon all I can hear is a giant slap-fest going on in the room while these women slapped our entire bodies. She also massaged my entire body, and for awhile I thought she was checking for lumps. The best part was when she was done with the massage, she slid my body up to the head of the table so my head was sort of hanging off, and washed my hair right there on the table. She even used this little massaging brush on my head, which was the least weird thing that she pulled out all day.
When the whole thing was over and we were all showering in the community shower, my newly liberated friends and I were speechless for several minutes. My friends are rather conservative and I consider it my job to shock them occassionally with random comments. So while we're all standing around, wondering if there's a support group for Women Violated by Body Scrub, I said, "All I know is that if someone is going to slap my ass like that, they better be buying me dinner first."