Can't Smile Without HIM!!

Oh, yeah....... 

I'm a closet Fanilow. There. I said it. I spent years in therapy before I could finally admit it to my closest friends. I love him. Completely. Yes, I KNOW he's gay. It's not about that. It's about his voice. It's about his corny songs. It's about the fact that on Saturday night, MAY 28, 2005, I WILL be singing on stage with Barry Manilow!! Mark your calendars.

I've been a Fanilow since I was very young. My sister and I first heard 'I Write The Songs' on our Too-Da-Loop Radios when all we could get was AM (mine was yellow, hers was red, and they were way cool). That's when it all began - my secret love of all things Barry. My first album - yes, vinyl - was Even Now. I hid my love for Barry from everyone but my family all through high school and college. When my first daughter was just a baby, I taped a televised concert and would sit on the bed watching it over and over, singing all the songs to her, and it would put her to sleep. Of course I took this as a sign that we had a mutual love for Barry, but she was probably just really bored. My friends know about my obsession and, after ridiculing me for awhile, actually enable my problem by buying me CD's and other assorted Barry paraphanalia.
That's friendship.

My sister is also a Barry fan, but not quite as extreme as me. She's turning 40 on Friday, and to celebrate, we're heading to Vegas to see Barry live at the Hilton, where he now has his own room. The show is called "MANILOW: MUSIC AND PASSION!!" Cheesy? Hell, yeah! I'm looking forward to the cheese. Can't wait.

I have a Lifetime To Do List that I take very seriously. It has some things that I would really love to do, such as finish a marathon and run with the bulls in Pamplona. It has some things that I've already done, such as trekking in the Andes and climbing the Great Wall of China. Then there are those things that I MUST do before I die. I'm not kidding - getting onstage with Barry Manilow tops that list.

So here's how I get on stage...At every concert, Barry chooses one woman from the audience to come on stage with him and sing "I Can't Smile Without You." I've been to countless Barry concerts and I think I know how to guarantee my spot onstage. Women who get onstage usually have big signs that they hold up when the time comes (I would disclose what will be on my sign, but I can't take the chance that any of you are thinking of going and stealing my sure-fire idea). There are five of us going and, trust me, ALL of our signs will be focused on getting ME onstage. We paid WAY too much money for our tickets to make sure we're right up front, and I've already warned everyone involved that if he picks anyone in my party OTHER THAN ME, I will TAKE THEM OUT to get on stage instead of them. I don't care that it's my sister's birthday, I will TAKE HER OUT if he picks her instead. I will ruthlessly trample her skinny little ass to get on stage with Barry. She understands this and has wisely agreed to step aside.

I'm hoping that my platinum membership in the Barry Manilow International Fan Club (BMIFC for short) will help to secure my spot in Fanilow history.

Trust me...I'll keep you posted.